Today I wanted to talk to you about finding joy in the waiting.
It is not my intention to make light of living with infertility but rather to encourage and inspire you to live joyfully in the waiting.
For those of you who don’t know my story, I shared it on the second episode of the Joyful Morning Wellness podcast show.
Just briefly I wanted to share that my husband and I have lived with Infertility for the last 12 years after I had a miscarriage in 2007.
Since then I have not fallen pregnant. In the past I struggled with anxiety and depression. This podcast show was created as a way of encouraging others who are living with endometriosis, PCOS, depression, anxiety or infertility to discover joy and to live with gratitude.
So how do we find joy, fulfilment and peace in the waiting?
Firstly I wanted to share with you something that my husband said to me many years ago. This was at a time when I was really finding it difficult to live with gratitude and to recognise the blessings in my life.
At this time I was struggling with anxiety and depression on top of endometriosis pain and infertility.
My husband made a short statement that I still remember all these years later.
He stated that after observing many of the people that he knows who have children already or who are pregnant, that if I was not happy without children it was unlikely that I would be happy with children.
He talked with me about how many of the people that he knew who had children complained a lot and did not seem very satisfied on the outside in being parents.
This is not to say that they did not love their children but he noted that many Parents complained more about their children then those who made positive comments.
He recognised that there were many people who complained about losing sleep, who mentioned The stress they were under. He commented that he had overheard many parents complaining about the burdens of having children.
He then mentioned to me that if I was not grateful for the life that I have now I may very well not be grateful For children in the future. Since that time I have purposes to build a life overflowing with joy and gratitude and no longer defined by not being a mum.
I used to look at parent who complained about being pregnant and nausea and sleepless nights and the stress and all those things many of us have heard others talk about and feel hurt, jealous and discouraged.
Rather than spending my days taking in the negative statements of others I now focus on being grateful for my own life.
Now it’s important here that I mention that I do have moments that are difficult, where sometimes people‘s words cut deep, and where I have Times where the comments of others seem insensitive.
However, in spite of this, the majority of my days are filled with joy, a sense of gratitude, and a peace and identity that are found in Christ.
One thing that has really helped me in this area and in finding peace in infertility is recognising that there is nothing outside of God’s control.
For some reason which is up to Almighty God, my husband and I are yet to have children. I find great peace in that. While I may not understand it, I no longer fight against it. It is not for me to work out. But I find That I have learned to trust God in this area.
So today in October 2019 I no longer ask why we haven’t had children yet. I do ask these questions though.
Firstly, what can I be grateful for right now, today?
When I asked this question it helped me to look at the abundance in my life rather than the lack.
When I change the questions I can help to change my outlook.
Today I am grateful that I am well enough to go for a walk. This morning I enjoyed a lovely walk with my neighbour and it was just so nice.
Today I am thankful for the relationship that I have with my husband. I am thankful that I married a man who is supportive and kind and loving. Today I am thankful for so many things. I never previously saw them when I asked why I hadn’t had children yet.
Another question that I ask myself is what am I doing with the opportunities that I am given in life?
I may not have children yet but I have been given so many amazing ways to encourage others. I have a business that I love where I coach women, I am able to create podcast shows to encourage, and I am writing a book to inspire and uplift other women with endometriosis and infertility.
If I was still asking why I haven’t had children yet I probably would’ve missed out on these amazing blessings in my life. I spent a lot of time, too much time over many years missing out on the gifts that God has prepared for me.
What gifts do you currently have that you can share with others? In what ways can you use your story no matter what it is, no matter what you have been waiting for to bless those around you?
We have each been blessed with gifts and talents to share with our family, friends and community.
In what unique ways can you reach out to help those around you?
Another question that I ask now is; how can I make the most of my current situation.
This brings to mind the beautiful serenity prayer by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (Please forgive my pronunciation).
‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference’.
Recognising that there are things that I can do to live as healthy as possible and making those changes to create beautiful habits is something that I have control over. I do not have control however if and when we will become parents.
Becoming parents is not something that we earn or deserve but rather it is a gift from God. Of course it is something to be cherished, celebrated and appreciated but it is not something that we are able to force.
We can pray, we can have faith that God hears our prayers, but we cannot force his hand. In the waiting we can learn to have joyful hope and patient faith.
So in the meantime, while I have learnt patience and return regularly to recognising God’s sovereignty in this I can choose to make the most out of my every day.
I think it takes courage to step out, trusting God and living joyfully when you’re waiting for answers to prayer.
I have also realised that life is a journey, not a destination.
What lessons can I be learning in the in the waiting? I’ll ask you the same question. What lessons can you be learning in the waiting?
I can choose my response to life’s circumstances. I can choose joy Over despair. I can choose gratitude over grumbling. And there I can discover freedom.
Recognising my own free will in this infertility journey has been so wonderful.
Of course there are days that I find more difficult than others but overwhelmingly I recognise that there are things that I can do to wait patiently and to live a joyful life.
This is not just for those who live with infertility and are awaiting that beautiful day when they fall pregnant. It is also for those who live with chronic health issues and look forward to being well. It is for those who are working towards a promotion and are yet to see a fulfilment of their dreams, and it is for those who are single and wait for the day where they meet their soulmate and best friend.
So my question today is; What are you doing in the waiting?
There is a beautiful passage from Psalm 139:1-3.
0 Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and by rising up you understand my thoughts are far off. You comprehend my past and my lying down, and you are acquainted with all my ways.
I have beautiful instrumental worship music playing while I’m writing the notes for this podcast episode.
The verses that I have just quoted are on the screen in front of me and a part of the music video and they are just perfect for today.
No matter where we are in life and no matter what we are waiting for, the Lord God is aquatinted With all our ways.
So lastly, while we are waiting for our hopes and dreams to come to pass I encourage you to lean into God to recognise that he has gone before you and that he knows where you are today.
He is the beginning and the end, he is the Alpha and Omega.
Putting our trust in the one who knows all things ultimately gives us peace.
For some reason I woke up this morning and found it very difficult to write the remainder of the notes for this podcast episode.
Know what I share with you is very genuine And I do live a very joyful life but there are some days where my hormones are all over the place because of my endometriosis and I find that some times I am not quite as joyful as usual. This morning was one of those times And yet I am encouraged by what I encourage you to do.
I remembered to be grateful for the life that I have, I remembered to do what I can today with what I have And I was reminded to trust God and to press forward.
I prayed to God for strength and he reminded me to play uplifting worship music.
While I am recording these notes another verse has just come up, it is from Psalm 139 versus 13 to 14.
For you formed my inward parts you covered me in my mothers womb I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,Marvellous are your works and that my soul knows very well.
I want to encourage you that you are seen, that you are known, and that you are loved.
Today I am reminded of God’s love and how he will use anything to remind you that you are not forgotten.
The verse of Scripture that I have just quoted is the first verse of Scripture from the devotional that I am writing as a way to encourage you to uplift you and to remind you that you are dearly Loved.
I will share one last first with you today and it is the verse that is currently on the screen during the beautiful worship music that I’m listening to while I write these notes.
How precious also are your thoughts to me, oh God! How great is this sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number then the sand; when I awake I am still with you.
Psalm 139 versus 17 to 18
You can choose to live with patience and with arms wide open in surrender, recognising God has a joy-filled purpose for your life, even in the waiting.
You can listen to the Podcast episode that this blog post is based on here.
For inspiration, tips on healthy living and joyful encouragement: You can find plenty of the good stuff on the Joyful Morning Wellness Blog Page by clicking here . For Coaching advice on living a healthy nourished life you can discover motivation here. The Joyful Morning Wellness Podcast show can be found here too. A place filled with gratitude, grace and motivation to live a joyful, nourished life.
Are you ready to live your vision of wellness?If you are ready to take the next step and develop strategies to create gorgeous habits that will nourish your body and soul contact Rebecca at Joyful Morning Wellness for Coaching Sessions here or find the contact details over at the home page here.
The Psalm 30:5 Endo & Infertility Facebook Support Group can be found here.
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